I'm sure it's true that we all process grief differently, but at the same time, scientific study of grief has moved us on in the way we deal with it. And I'm sure your instinct to write about it is a good one. It's one of those raw emotions that are crystal clear at the time but that can suddenly blur when you look back. I don't know if you have read The Day That Went Missing by Richard Beard. It's about the death of his younger brother who drowned in the late 1970s and the way the family had no way to deal with it and opted for silence and denial. His struggle to come to terms with it decades later was largely a struggle to find out and try to remember what had happened.