It would be a better world if most people were like you and Ben welcoming people into your lives when they need someone. And I hope you find the support you need. Sadly, most people don't seem to be able to cope with someone else's bereavement. The kind enquiries and offers of help when the problem is an illness suddenly dry up into awkward silences when the illness ends in death. It's a known phenomenon and I suspect it's a so-called developed world phenomenon, one of the things society is bad at.