What a dilemma! Not something you can sidestep out of. You both have to eat. I suspect like so many things, it will become easier as things settle and you find more stuff that works, and routines get bedded in, but so draining to have to have it all front and centre. My sister swore by Michael Moseley's books when her husband's diabetes progressed, not that he had Ben's other problems. She recommended this book for the diabetes-friendly recipes, https://www.amazon.com/8-Week-Blood-Sugar-Diet-Recipe/dp/1780722931 but also said it irritated her that his books always have 'diet' in the title because they are actually a serious analysis of food and how it affects the body, but presumably that's the marketing people.